Do I really have to make time for LIFE?

Seriously though, I don't have time to sit and do things like this and not feel guilty about it. I really should be doing homework. Or practicing for something. But stuff like this needs to happen more often. I'm exhausted of being on a schedule of things being due, meetings to attend, and times to wake up. When did life become such a rush? Yeah, I know i'm only sixteen but from a sixteen-year-old's perspective, I feel like i'm running around all the time.

Seriously, this week I had an outside reading book due and I chose to read The Catcher in the Rye. It's really too bad that I didn't have at least an hour to sit down and read. If I didn't have other things to do that I deemed more important, I would've totally read that book straight in one day. I really miss reading! I used to go through like a book in a week! Sadly, I just read the Sparknotes... I'll read it someday.

I guess this is mostly my fault... I feel like sometimes I involve myself too much. Sorry, I just like being part of things I like to do you know? I really love making music and I really love my faith... and I would hate making what I love a secondary priority for me. What's a little ridiculous is the fact that I have to put those aside for my education that slowly takes over my free time. Work. Work. Work. It's really depressing actually. I don't understand how this lifestyle is okay. It seems like after high school, we are absorbed in to college work (which is probably worse than high school, i'm assuming.) and after college we are consumed in our careers. But when do we ever have time to stop and chill out?

Don't tell me I should've done that before I got here, that's dumb. Hold up, let me get my time machine, go back in time and tell myself to enjoy my free time because that's going to be gone in a few years. Of course I didn't know that when I was younger! Plus, I wouldn't have been able to sit and contemplate some other issues like I do now because I was probably too obsessed with like the Jonas Brothers and Disney Channel.

To be honest, I spend my free time sleeping because I'm usually too exhausted to think about doing other things that could make me happy. Don't get me wrong, sleep makes me very happy, but what about just reading a book, or maybe I could get back to learning how to play guitar, and learning how to crochet. Those are the little things that I wish I could stop and do. This post makes me feel bad because I feel like I should be doing something more productive because I can't lead myself to think that this is beneficial to me! I'm in my room, with a couple of candles lit, my favorite lamp on, and Explosions in the Sky playing. This is beneficial to me! Beneficial to the SOUL. (Sorry, that was really cheesy, but it had to be said.)

Really, it isn't wrong to just set everything aside for a moment and chill out. Grab some tea, some good music, a book, something you really love, and just enjoy it. Especially high school kids, seriously. I promise not working for a second won't kill you. This school system leads you to believe that you're not enough unless you're making a 108 GPA. Your grades aren't a reflection of who you are, or what you become. (I'm still trying to believe it, even though deep down I know it's true.)

Please take a moment to relax, and free your mind of your stress. It's one of the best feelings ever.